it has been a long time since I last wrote something here.. in between that time, a lot happened.. Niks, Maaj, Sakina and I joined the BSP-UBD green debate... and we won the prelims, going into the finals.. then about a month later, we had the finals, which was few days ago.. we went against UBD. they were good la.. but thank God for His blessings, we won the debate.. looking back at all the achievements that I have gotten, the results that I've produced, everything, comes from Him and belongs to Him.. it is all His blessings that I feel I don't deserve at all.. but at the end of it, it makes me love Him more and more knowing that He looks at the grace that He has given us, and not like a judge who's prepared to sentence punishment unto us whenever we do something wrong.. why is He, love? why does He have to die for us? He's too loving that I'm so afraid of hurting Him, so afraid that I don't get His blessings, so afraid that I'm not living like how He wants me to.. I want to surrender everything into His hands, because He knows the best for me, even when I don't think the same way.. with all the uncertainties, the future seems so distant... so blurry that I cant even make up the shape of it from afar.. but I trust that no one can shut a door opened by God and no one can open a door shut by Him.

I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. ~ Revelation 3:8